How I Met My Girlfriend

College freshman Dave tries online dating and is surprised to get matched with Jane, a cute girl so like him in her interests that he almost can’t believe it. He is even more surprised when he begins to hallucinate a bustier, sluttier version of Jane in his hornier moments.

What secret is Jane hiding? Who is this sultry alter-ego ‘Jade’ visiting Dave’s waking wet-dreams?

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Cut from the same cloth

The organ’s triumphant chords filled the church as all gathered waited with bated breath for my bride to enter. The moment had finally arrived when I would marry Lucy, the love of my life.

I longed to finally see her in the wedding dress. We had chosen it together, from a shop that specialized in giving once-loved dresses a new life. Our shared passion for minimizing our environmental footprint had made the idea of repurposing an already perfectly good dress irresistible.

It had looked so beautiful in the store, the pink and white fabrics as bright and clean as the day it was made. The only caveat was that original wearer had been much larger in the chest than Lucy’s petite frame, but the store owner assured us that with some minor adjustments it would be perfect for my bride-to-be. I couldn’t wait to see her in it.

As the doors cracked open I held my breath in anticipation. My bride stepped through, and the moment of triumph turned to ashes in my mouth.

Lucy was almost unrecognizable. Her petite breasts were swollen to the size of melons, jutting from her chest in defiance of the laws of gravity. The tight corset, carefully cut down to fit her once tiny bust, now hung loosely around her chest, leaving her tits free to bounce in the air merrily as she strode confidently down the aisle. Her newly widened hips and swollen ass strained against the silken panties that were to have been our shared secret tonight.

Parents shielded their kid’s eyes as Lucy swayed past their pews. Wives elbowed their husbands in the ribs as their wide eyes drunk in my fiance’s porn-star body. Aunt Judith fanned herself furiously, covering her mouth in shock, while Uncle Joe leered appreciatively at my wife-to-be.

Scandalized whispers filled the room as Lucy approached the dais where I stood motionless. I could do naught but stare dumbfounded at her new body. A camera flash from a bold guest illuminated thick trails of white liquid dripping down her silky smooth globes. Was that… cum?

“Hey John, sorry I started without you.” The slutty smirk this woman flashed at me was nothing like the girl I had decided to marry. “Your best man came to check on me just as the dress finished my upgrades, and I couldn’t resist a little trial run.”

“Shall we get the paperwork done now, or do you want to fuck first?”

The Garden of Eden

In the beginning, God created the heavens and the earth. Upon the barren earth he made Eden – a garden paradise where all creatures of the earth could live in harmony. He made the first man, Adam, to steward the garden and care for the beings within. This Adam did well, but the Lord did see that Adam lacked fellowship. And so God brought forth the first Woman, Eve, to be a companion for Adam and to share in his duty.

The Lord said unto them, ‘Eat fruit from any tree in the garden; but you must not eat from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, for when you eat from it you will certainly die.’ For a time, they lived together in Eden, pure of thought and free of sinful desires. Adam and his wife were naked and had no shame.

One day the wicked Serpent came to Eve and beguiled her, luring her to the forbidden tree. When the woman saw that the fruit of the tree was good for eating and pleasing to the eye, and also desirable for gaining wisdom, she took some and ate it, and convinced Adam to eat also.

Then the eyes of both of them were opened, and they realized they were naked; so they sewed fig leaves together and made coverings for themselves. And the Lord God banished them from the Garden of Eden to live forever in the wilderness.

Thus has the story of Adam and Eve been told by the Church throughout the ages. However, some say the true nature of events in the Garden of Eden have been long buried, suppressed for countless generations by the Church. Perhaps they feared their legitimacy would be compromised should the debauched tale of the first Man and Women become widely known.

What follows is the true story of humanity’s origin, long kept alive through whispered conversations in dark places. A perverse tale of how God’s plan for a celibate, sexless creation was foiled by the Deceiver.

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